When your parents stick a plate of food with the side dish of steamed spinach in front of you, for the first time, your reaction is usually, “Yuck! I don’t want to eat that!” Then your parents - if they are good mommies and daddies - will force you to try a bite of the green mushy looking blob of food. The outcome varies from child to child. If you are like me it was the yummiest green blob of food ever! If you are like my niece, Keirra, who had closed her mind off to the idea that the green blob could really taste good, you wince and gag until it’s gone from your mouth… and then you gag some more with the idea of what you just did. New foods and things enter our lives all the time, and like the spinach we either try it with an open mind or we shut down and turn away never knowing what it would have been like. I used to be the turn away closed minded person when it came to the idea of having children. I had made up my mind that they weren’t a good idea. I guess it would be like a sibling watching the other taste the spinach only to wince and gag. Then never want to try it themselves because it looked so awful - never knowing had they tried it they would have love the taste! I watched other people with their children - probably not the best examples of parenting out there - and I got a bad feeling about the whole motherhood thing. Then, as if the mother of the child who would not taste the spinach pried open their child’s mouth and shoved a bite of spinach in. At first the child is all angry and holds the bite in her mouth just knowing it is going to be bad. Then something amazing happens, her taste buds start to react to the food and they begin to sing a song of happiness as the child begins to slowly chew the mound of spinach in her mouth. After it’s gone into her stomach she looks up with delight and dives her fork in for another bite!

I love analogies - as if you couldn’t tell. The point is coming - I promise!

One night after a few glasses of wine and feeling pretty good, and probably a little dumb, Scott and I created our future - without even realizing it. When I found out I was pregnant it was like someone pried open my mouth and shoved a mound of spinach in! After a little while, a few months, I started to feel excited and before I knew it my little boy was born and I was the happiest mother on the planet! I couldn’t believe I didn’t want to try this, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. As with most people after trying spinach, they can’t believe they never had this tasty bite of yumminess before! It was the most awesome feeling and I embraced his little life with mine. I want the best for my little fella and I strive each and every day to ensure he gets what he needs for a happy, healthy life. Sammy is such a hand full of energy! He wants to learn and explore and jump off of everything in sight! He is all over the place without fear and taking charge of his own three-year-old life. I am so excited for him, because I don’t see a naughty boy whose parents let run amock and who may be spoiled. I see his future and how powerful he’ll be in whatever he wants to do. He lets no one tell him how it’s going to be, he sets his young mind on something and does it - no matter what! I watch as some people try to instill fear into their children and I feel sad for that child. How unfair is it to shut off their natural wants and desires? If Sammy wants to do something I try to make sure it’s safe first, although it’s life and he has to do what he has to do. There is no bubble around anyone and fear of what might happen is crippling and I will not do that to my child.

Anyhow - that really wasn’t my point for this blog. Let me return to the topic at hand…

I took the bite of nasty-looking spinach and loved it so much that I dove back in for a second helping. Sammy is such a great child and Scott and I couldn’t be happier parents. We love him so much that we had decided to create another - a sibling for our little Sammy. We tried and tried for a few months and nothing was happening. It was looking like we were destined to have only one child. I didn’t want to have to miss work so we were planning the pregnancy around my summer vacation. The window time frame had closed and there was still no baby, so I gave up. I threw in the white towel of defeat and tried to move past it. Just as the white towel hit the floor it jumped back up and smacked me in the back of the head! I was pregnant and once again had no idea. Scott was just as confused as I was, but that didn’t stop the flow of happiness! We told a few choice people but wanted to wait for the doctor to tell us everything was looking good before we let the rest of the world in. It’s finally that time - to let the rest of the world in on a secret we’ve been holding onto for 18 weeks now. Last Friday we went to the doctor for a check-up and to find out the sex of the baby. The baby was not cooperating with the ultrasound machine, so we almost didn’t get it. The doctor was getting ready to give up when he said, “Oh wait! There - do you see that?” He froze the picture and put a little arrow to where we should be looking. I looked for a second and said, “Is that a penis?” Whoop - there IT is!

I had this really strong feeling it was going to be a girl. I had people telling me they were getting a girl vibe. Scott and I were oddly focused on a girl’s name and didn’t even feel the need to talk about boys names. It was a deeper feeling than a wish… But, there IT was in clear view of the ultrasound. I would lie if I didn’t say that my heart sunk a little and I felt a little sadness that I was wrong. I couldn’t shake the surprise of seeing the penis - it was like I had lost something important and had to start all over again. The doctor left to do something and when he returned he said he needed to take one more look because he didn’t get a good shot of the kidneys. I thought maybe he’d look again and realize that the penis we had seen was merely a shadow or something. It didn’t happen. Ultrasounds have been wrong, but there are too many odds with the baby being a boy. The penis was really dominant and Scott’s family history of only boys being born (on his father’s side going back to his grandfather) is loud enough. I am sure it’s a boy and I am happy that he’s healthy. We are in the hunt for a boys name now - something powerful. Sammy is not yet clued in on the whole idea of a baby being in mommy’s belly, he thinks we keep calling my belly button a baby. I know he’ll be happy and welcoming of a brother - or as Sammy said, “brover.”

I just wanted to share the “Whoop - there IT is” shot - there is no mistake, as you can see…

Baby! He looks a little alienish - it was really hard to get any good shot of him because he was in a breech position. I’ll get many more pictures of our new little fella, and I’ll be posting them! He is healthy and weighs 9 ounces.

R.S.V.P. stands for a French phrase, “répondez, s’il vous plaît,” which means “please reply.” The person sending the invitation would like you to tell him or her whether you accept or decline the invitation.

It is really not a hard concept to grasp, nor is it a hard thing to do. When my niece was in a preschool around the corner from our house, we invited the kids in her class to her third birthday party. We rented a private bowling room for birthday parties and got everything ready for her big day. She was so excited and couldn’t wait for all her little friends to join her. She had also invited a little girl, Katie, from her ballet class and another little girl from her church - both of those girl’s parents RSVPed on the spot with a definite, “Yes, we’ll be there.” I waited and waited for RSVP’s to flood in…. but they never did. The phone rang once with an RSVP saying they couldn’t come. The day of the party was arriving and no one else had RSVPed! I talked to my niece’s teacher and asked her to remind parents about the party, but that didn’t help either. Day of the party and only two girls had RSVPed! I figured that people would just show up without an RSVP - even though that would be the rude thing to do. The two girls showed that RSVPed and Katie brought her brother - they saved my niece’s party! Without them there would not have been a party at all because morons get invitations and never fucking RSVP!

The next year we had changed my niece to a different preschool - one within a church and her fourth birthday was filled with RSVP’s and the party was a blast! After a few successful parties my faith had been restored in people. Plus, every time my niece gets an invitation I am quick to RSVP that she’ll either be there or not… But, I have always made it there. I figure I need to be an example of what you are supposed to do - then in return when my niece invites their child to her party they won’t think twice about it and call us with a RSVP.

My niece turned eight this year and she wanted a big birthday party. Scott came up with the idea of a Princess Dress-Up theme and she loved it! So, we decided only to invite girls and have everyone come dressed as a princess - how fun would that be?! I sent out a bunch of invitations to all these little girls in my niece’s class. I also sent out one to Katie and another to a girl, Sara, my niece had met in her ballet class and then one to a girl from my niece’s church. I waited and waited for the flood of RSVP’s to come in. I even RSVPed to a party for one of the girls we invited. We went to her party and I finally asked the mother if her daughter was going to attend my niece’s party. Her reply was, “Oh…. Ummm… No?” The reason I even asked was because I had heard from talking to a father at the party that the little girl was going to be out of town the weekend of my niece’s party, but I really wanted a, “Oh, I am sorry but we can’t because….” I doubt she would have ever RSVPed had I never asked. The first phone call I received was from Katie’s mother who RSVPed with a, “Yes.” of course. She was coming, but didn’t want to dress-up and that was o.k., it didn’t matter - I figured one girl there that didn’t dress-up, whatever. Then Sara’s mother RSVPed and finally my mother was talking to the girl from church and her grandmother and they said they would attend, but I never got a real RSVP and couldn’t count on it. No one from my niece’s class RSVPed - NO ONE! We sent about eight invitations to school and not a one has a parent who could either read or make a damn phone call!

My niece kept telling me that her “friends” from school told her they would be there. I told her to tell them that their parents need to call me so I can count on them for sure - I really can’t take the word of a 7 or 8 year-old child. No one called and I almost called the party off all together. I told my niece that I was going to have to cancel the party and she didn’t want that to happen! She really wanted this party and she was sure her “friends” from school were telling the truth. So, I kept the party plans as they were. Saturday February 24th arrived and I put together a few snacks and ordered a cake for the party. I had thought of and planned out a few games with prizes - all around the princess theme. We got there a half hour early and set everything up. Then I crossed my fingers but I didn’t hold my breath that her “friends” were truthful and would just show up. The little girl from the church arrived early, and then Katie arrived and finally Sara arrived… and that was it. It is loud and clear who her true little friends really are. My niece did not let the other shit-heads who didn’t RSVP stop her from having a good time. The four girls played the games and won prizes and then we sang Happy Birthday and opened gifts. They had a great time playing together and it ended up being a great birthday for my niece. My niece and only one other girl dressed-up as a princess - that kinda threw that idea out the window - but all-in-all it didn’t matter because the girls really didn’t even notice.

RSVP - a social rule. I just don’t understand the mentality of people - the mentality of stupid idiots. This could have - and who knows, it still might - scar my niece’s psyche. Who could be that cruel to a little kid? You get an invitation and that can mean only one sure thing - they want you there!!!! Little kids want a big to-do about their birthday - it’s natural. But, what kills that spirit are people like the ones who never RSVPed! What is wrong with people?!?! What in their minds says it’s okay not to be polite? I will not put my niece through this again - next year we are going to invite Katie and Sara to a movie or something. The two girls who have never let their friend down. I commend those parents for doing a good job and thank them for being there. A little kindness goes a long way and so many people need to figure it out. It blows my mind away how many lazy stupid fucks we have walking around - how the hell is the world still spinning? I could go on and on about this topic - but I won’t… not worth it.

A happy ending - sure. It could have been better, but the most important thing is that my niece had a great time with a few great friends…