You're a Bad Parent!
I am reading this book, “Mommy Knows Worst” by James Lileks. It’s funny, scary and connects a very powerful lesson between the past and now that we have not figured out as a society. James pokes fun at the bizzare and far-out things parents used to do to their children. Reading through, I wonder what parents must have been thinking to figure these were good ideas! One of the main points was to boil everything! Just boil it and everything will be perfect. Fresh air is another point people of the past blew up and made into a life or death situation. I agree that fresh air is awesome and important to life – but there’s a limit. Folks of the past went as far as to build a box that fits in your window (the box was hanging out like a small a/c unit) to place your child in to sleep! Rain, snow, sleet or shine! They had some crazy ideas for how children should be raised… oh boy! The number one DO NOT DO accepted free download
was pick-up baby!!! Oh my god – don’t want to damage the internal organs or cause the spine to bend! You’ll kill your child if you manhandle him/her by picking up them up! NO wonder we have mental illness plaguing this nation – you were taught not only to fight your own natural instincts as parents, but also from birth babies were taught that they didn’t matter and were not important.
The forgotten lesson is that we get a “good idea”, then judge others harshly for not following the same “good idea.” The weak will follow because they have no clue what to do and need a leader, or they have no balls and won’t cowboy up and stand up for what they believe in. I don’t follow the popular crowd in my parenting skills or style – I follow my basic instinct. I worry about my own judgement and if I feel it’s a good or bad idea. Scott and I brought home baby and realized pretty fast the “old way” and the “book way” was not the way for us – as a family. We stopped freaking out and relaxed, letting nature guide the way. We lean towards the “Attachment Parenting” style of parenting – it seems to fit us.
I was always judged as a person with a disability, no one ever taking the time to ask questions and educate themselves more about what it was I had and how it affects me. They jumped to what they wanted to believe, and it was the simplest answer – she walks funny therefore she must be retarded! Stamp! I find that as a mother I am also judged, maybe even harsher. I cannot do much correct in the face of others – and let me just start off by saying that I really don’t give a damn what others think of my parenting style! I have my ways and I don’t point out other parents and judge them blindly by how they parent. I don’t get people and why they have to walk through life with blinders on and the mindset of always being right. I do not think my parenting style is wrong – but you may, and that’s ok. Just keep your damn mouth shut and we’ll all be fine. I try to do all the “good” things for my little fella – I follow my heart. How could people sit there and call judgement upon me without knowing my reasons for things? You can’t – pure and simple. I am not going to freak out and yell at you about it being none of your busness – I will try and explain it to you. If you want to debate – fine, I’ll debate. I have drifted off the main topic just a little – but I am so sick and tired of being judged!
Society is what makes us and breaks us – this is common knowledge. Why is it that we have to pick others apart, degrade them, chew them up and spit them out into the trash? It’s nothing new and for all of time we have judged mothers for everything they might be doing wrong in our eyes. Parents of the past (and present) should have listened to themselves and their hearts and not what the latest cool magazine/book was preaching to do, “You’ll kill your baby if you pick him/her up!” I can see Ethel calling all her girl-friends to spread the latest news. James Lileks wrote that the G.I.s over in the war (WWII) had a higher survival rate than the babies born here in the U.S. How sad is that? The answer is always inside of you – there have been parents from the beginning of time. We need to trust that we have these answers within ourselves – to a limit. *wink* A new mother should just let her body and the baby guide the way – and no matter how much work is involved – it’s worth it! Respect other parents – if they look like they care and are doing what they think is best… well, they probably are. Shut up and respect them! Stop judging others – you don’t like it when it’s done to you!
