The ever popular “potty mouth” patrol made its rounds to me. There’s no target on one’s back larger than the ones on the backs of parents – mothers to be more specific. Let me paint you a picture of a girl in a store who drops a can of pop. It explodes with an ear-piercing sound, and as everyone looks to see what it was the girl screams, “Oh FUCK!” First reaction most people have at this moment is, “Oh – it was just a coke can exploding on the floor.” Now, picture this – A mother and her son in a bookstore. The little toddler is running around being a normal toddler, and the mother is simply standing by watching her son act like a monkey. Nothing wrong here, onlookers smile and pass sometimes watching the cute little boy play for a few moments before continuing with their shopping. The little boy – cute as a button! – gets onto a small child’s chair and OOPS! slips off, smacking his head onto the corner of the little kiddie table. The mother gasps with fear that her poor little guy might be hurt and without thinking lets out an, “Oh fuck!” as she jets to her son’s aid and makes sure he is okay. The first reaction from the onlookers, “Oh my! Did you hear what she said? In front of her child!” I am sure if they could have cuffed the mother and thrown her in potty mouth jail they would have. Okay, the second person was indeed ME and my little fella, Sammy…

I reacted without thought and that’s what came out – should I be judged as a parent because I dropped the “F” bomb in public? Oh please! If you said, “Yes!” to that question you need to pull that big fat stick out of your ass and get on with life. I have a naughty potty mouth and I have it under control. There are times when words fly out without you thinking about it – it happens to the best of us. I do use naughty “no-no” language in front of my (almost) three-year-old son and seven-year-old niece, *gasp* neither of them are little potty mouths in training. My son does not go around telling people to fuck off because he has heard mommy say it. Nor, does mommy go around telling people to fuck off because the movies made it look and sound so cool. I figure, these words are a part of life and I do not want my children to be one of those folks with the sticks up their asses. I don’t want them to be addicted to using bad words all the time either. No one sounds smart saying, “What da fuck you looking at mother fucker? Get the fuck over here! I’ll fuck your ass up!” Yeah, that was impressive! What would have sounded a lot more educated would have been, “Can I help you?” I will make sure my children understand that difference.

I also enjoy throwing bad words into writing – it just makes it a little more exciting and puts emphasis on a strong point. Like the cook, Emeril , with his “Bam!” in spicing up his food – I like to throw in my own kind of “Bam!” by dropping an “F” bomb or two. I had written a post about idiots working at fast food joints and I went on and on about the fast food nightmare I had endured. I had written that I was annoyed with them and said, “No more! I don’t care how fucking hungry we all are, I will not go back and waste my money on those assholes!” Someone by the screen name Amanda Huginkiss wrote a comment all about that one line. We know that Amanda is probably the person who would like to have thrown me in potty mouth jail for my choice of words in the bookstore (stick – pull it out). That “Amanda” person wrote a comment

(and I quote), “Did you really yell “F’ing” and “A$$holes” in front of your niece, and possibly other children?!? sheesh woman, get a grip!” Yeah… I am not the one who needs to get a grip.

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No, I do not agree with people walking around talking like trailer trash (with young children around or not) because they think it makes them look and sound cool. It makes them look like idiots – ones that maybe should look into getting a job at a fast food joint. I like to be a respected person of the community and people who know me are shocked to find out that I can use such language in a casual manner. I also don’t agree with shielding such language from my children. It’s out there no matter what you do. They are going to be exposed to it in one way or another and so why be a prude? I figure that if they hear it and it’s no big deal then it will not phase them to hear it out in public. They won’t fall over laughing because the man just said, “Fucker!” Nor will they slap a quick hand covering their mouth with a gasp of disbelief. They won’t be addicted either and they won’t be the annoying ass walking around talking like trailer trash. My niece, who is seven, knows that those words are there and it’s no big deal. At the same time she knows it’s not right to go around saying them.

My son had a brief love affair with the phrase, “Son of a bitch!” but it didn’t last long. He was using it in the correct context – not exactly meaning a son of a female dog, but he was annoyed nonetheless. He also was using the word, “Damn!” in a way we would as well. In traffic one day he was annoyed that we weren’t moving faster and I explained to him I could only go as fast as the car in front of me and his reply was, “Oh dammit car!” He hasn’t said either one in a long time – but when he did say them I didn’t react to the language, but treated what was annoying him. A two-year-old isn’t going to say “son of a bitch!” because he’s being defiant – there’s something he’s trying to express and his only thoughts of how mommy could understand his feeling is by saying this choice phrase. Nothing that needs soap or a spanking or even a “Time-out!” Just a little understanding and TLC.

I am sure I will be judged harshly by my potty mouth and the simple fact that I am a parent – remember the girl in the store with the pop? I am A-OK with that because in the end I am an awesome mommy. Just remember that. I am a great person and if you take the time to get to know ME, you’ll find there’s nothing to worry about. If you simply read this blog you must know that it’s an adult read with a few naughty words thrown in. So, fuck off and let ME be ME! *wink*

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