Real friends are folks who will stick by your side through good times and bad - no matter what. They are people who will stand up for your honor and protect you from harm. They are people who will make sure you are smiling and having a good time with this crazy thing called life. Through life we meet many people posing as good friends, but are demasked as soon as they run away leaving you standing alone. When something happens that thay cannot handle - they turn their backs without a care about what happens to you. I have experienced this and seen it happen to people I care about - and it’s painful. The posers running have no idea what kind of pain they have caused - nor do they care.

When Scott and I were dating he had this group of friends he hung out with all the time. They were always getting together on weekends and doing crazy fun stuff together. I am sure he considered them “best firends.” Then when we got engaged Scott asked one of these “best friends” to be his best man. The friend agreed to support his buddy on the big day. Another one of these friends said he would video tape the whole thing for us - we didn’t have to pay someone to do it. It was all so nice and it was great having his friends’ support. As the big day grew closer it became apparent that his friends grew less and less excited as they called less, went out and did things with Scott less. The wedding was right around the corner and Scott couldn’t get a hold of his best man, then we had heard rumors that he wasn’t going to say anything, just not show up on the wedding day! Scott and I went to his work, found him and asked him to his face if he was going to back out at the last second. The guy smiled and confirmed the rumor to be true. That was the last time Scott saw that friend. There was an awesome friend from high school Scott was able to call at the last minute and ask to be his best man - without question he said, “Yes.” The friend that was going to video tape the wedding wrote an e-mail to Scott (at the last minute) and said, “I respect you too much to attend your wedding.” There was another friend who without word just dropped out of sight just as we were getting ready to tie the knot. We were lucky enough to have REAL friends who were there to watch us join our two lives into one. Even though I was extremely ill with staph (that I didn’t know about), because of our true friends we had an awesomely great time! We were quick to realize that we didn’t need those losers to have a fun and healthy life. I know these friends dropped out because they did not approve of me - and I think it’s sad, because if they really cared for their friend (Scott) they would have stuck around to see the amazing dynamic and awesome family we have built in these five years of marriage.

One of these dropout friends of Scott’s has been commenting on his weblog and recently left a comment on one of my posts. He wrote about his grandmother dying from cancer (sorry to hear that) and then he goes into a regret about losing contact with Scott… Well, duh! Your choice - all the way! Scott was an awesome friend to this “friend” and he was stupid to have ever turned his back on him the way he did. There’s a little something called Karma…

One of my close friends had a large group of friends around him all the time. He was living the life he wanted with many “good friends” around him to enjoy. Things were going well, and with a blink of an eye it was over - boom! His world, his life had been wiped away as if it were written on a whiteboard and simply erased. The friends, who he thought would stand behind him, vanished. Life as he knew it was not only turned upside down, but everyone he thought were friends had left him alone and bleeding. No one ever stood up and corrected the wrong, no one ever gave an apology, no one ever looked back. Depression began to surface and suck him down. He sat day after day trying to figure out life - everything he thought it was had destroyed everything he is. His wife, who stood by his side, told him he needed to get out and do something. These words were a birth to a new life and a new meaning for my friend. He stood up and he moved forward with his life, going down a path he was meant to walk. He’s now in a job he is awesome at and he is surrounded by people who love him. “Real friends” who will be there for him, protect him and support him - no matter what! I know that the past still hurts and it’s not fair, but the present is full of life all around and people you know you can trust.

People who pose to be a friend then walk away when needed the most - they have no backbone! They have no soul. As I mentioned before, I believe in karma and I know that karma will catch up with them - if it hasn’t already. Apologies help, but the simple fact still remains that they turned their back. Life has its way of shoving us in the right direction. I can’t say where Scott and I would be had his “friends” remained loyal, but I am sure we wouldn’t be here. I love being here right now with my little boy running around us. Life was obviously better without them. I know my friend wouldn’t be doing the awesome work he does without the smack in your face life dished him, and I know we wouldn’t be friends. As cruel as it may sound, I am happy his life came my way. I am sorry it was as painful as it was.

Friendship is a powerful thing and people are stupid to just throw it away! Look around and be happy for the good buddies you have. They are as much a part of your life as your family. Love them and validate them because you deserve them.

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