The local newspaper has this thing where it hands out questionnaires to area students and asks them a few simple questions. “What’s your favorite subject?” “Who is your favorite teacher?” “What other activities do you like to do?” “What is your favorite and not so favorite part of school?” “What job would you like when you grow up?” and “Who are your heroes?” I think it’s cute to see what they have to say. My niece was interviewed for her first grade class – lucky girl! They took a cute picture and placed her photograph and answers in the paper for the entire town to read. The first little boy (third grader) said that he wants to be a “NASCAR Driver” when he grows up – sounds like something a little kid would say. The next little boy (Kindergarten) said he would like to be a “doctor” when he grows up – smart kid! The next little boy (third grader) said that he wants to be a “computer software designer” when he grows up – wow there’s a kid whose parents must have been really proud of their son! And then there was my niece… (first grader) whose reply was, “I want to work at the Shark Buffet” when I grow up… My jaw hit the floor as my brain argued with my eyes that I must be reading the comment wrong. I read and reread it several times before I began to ask, “What was she thinking?” over and over again. The “Shark Buffet” is what my niece calls the buffet inside the Casino Fandango, where her mother worked for a short time. I’m not saying that working at the buffet isn’t a good choice – but to have it as a goal? I understand that she is in the first grade, and probably doesn’t totally understand the question, but the kid from the kindergarden class made more sense!

Kids look to their parents for guidance and answers to life. It’s our job as parents to make sure our children are safe, fed and knowledgable for success in life. We teach them that you need to work to live, and that money doesn’t just magically appear in our bank accounts. I hope that by the time children are at the middle school level, they understand that goals for their future are important. They need to start thinking about who they want to be as adulthood quickly approaches. Some kids never get the point, and they are the kids that will need a job at the buffet. There are high school and college students who need jobs until their real life begins – they will get a job at the buffet. I am not knocking the jobs at the buffet – looked at yearly, they probably make more money then I do at the school – but is that a goal you want your child to have? Kids look to their parents for these answers when they are too young to understand the question. If daddy is lawyer, then little Johnny is more likely to have answered the reporter’s question, “I want to be a lawyer when I grow up.” Or if the greatest moments in a young kid’s life are watching football with his parents, he might answer, “I want to be a football player when I grow up.” If your mother worked in a buffet, then the kid might answer, “I want to work at the Shark Buffet when I grow up.” It’s our job to say, “Hey little Johnny, maybe you should aim higher with life. Mommy works at the buffet, but you could be a doctor and cure sick people.” I just think that if your kid is clueless, then maybe you need to sit them down for a little one on one. Explain to them that while it’s not a bad thing to work at a buffet, there are better things life has to offer.

My niece is clueless and confused. Sure a huge part of it is being seven years old, and it is part of how she is being raised. My mother is raising her and my niece only sees her own mother every once in a while. It is more of a play date with her mother, than anything. My niece idolizes her mother in the “look at me” syndrome kids who don’t have a parent around get. The child wants to please the parent in hopes that they will “like them” and want the child around more. Nature tells us to be close to the mother, they are everything we need to survive the first 13 years of life. When mother isn’t around, the nature within us freaks out and needs to get that missing element back! Children then believe if they please the mother, the mother will “like” them and want to be with them. My niece is only doing what nature is telling her to do – pleasing her mother. I just think it is sad. I also know no matter what I say to her, or tell her about life, I do not matter to her. I am not the one she has to please. I do think that she needs to be sat down and someone important, someone she trusts, needs to explain what other choices she has in life. Like a ballerina dancer, or a school teacher… Something that she can say, “Yeah, that does sound better than serving food and washing dishes.”

Parents, we need to step it up and be there for our children! We are their world, their life and the answers to their universe. If we don’t show them the “right” path in life, there is slim chance they will find it on their own. I thought I had taught my niece more about life, but what I realized reading her answers in the paper was that I don’t matter as much as her absent mother does. What I am telling her is not important, because I am not the one with the answers for her universe. I understand it, and yet it still boggles my mind. This is so much more than a cute article the paper put out, it’s a view into the lives of these children. You could assume a lot by reading their answers – I know I did.

My niece also will make up an answer if she doesn’t know what to say. She did this in the case of “What other activities do you enjoy?” She said, “Soccer and basketball.” Neither of which she plays. I would love to get her into each sport! I think it would be good for her to be a part of a team, and simply play a sport. I don’t know if she was trying to tell us that those are things she wants to try – or simply blowing smoke to satisfy the reporter.

I just couldn’t believe what my niece had said. The first feeling I got was that of embarassment. The reaction I had was, “What the eff was she thinking?!” Everyone else was like, “Well, that’s okay.” Excuses? Not wanting to see what’s really happening? I don’t really know, because my son is two and a half years-old. It was funny, and most people who commented on what she said had a good laugh about it. Although, is that what we want to do? Laugh at it and pretend there isn’t an underlying problem? I did laugh at it, and I freaked out and then I felt sad because I hear her natural cry. I know that she is just following her instincts without a clue of what is really happening. I just hope through the life she spends around us, that we are able to help her find the right path of life to travel down. My goal for her is that she becomes a successful adult and makes herself proud, first and foremost.

This post is filed under Jumkins. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.