Real friends are folks who will stick by your side through good times and bad - no matter what. They are people who will stand up for your honor and protect you from harm. They are people who will make sure you are smiling and having a good time with this crazy thing called life. Through life we meet many people posing as good friends, but are demasked as soon as they run away leaving you standing alone. When something happens that thay cannot handle - they turn their backs without a care about what happens to you. I have experienced this and seen it happen to people I care about - and it’s painful. The posers running have no idea what kind of pain they have caused - nor do they care.

When Scott and I were dating he had this group of friends he hung out with all the time. They were always getting together on weekends and doing crazy fun stuff together. I am sure he considered them “best firends.” Then when we got engaged Scott asked one of these “best friends” to be his best man. The friend agreed to support his buddy on the big day. Another one of these friends said he would video tape the whole thing for us - we didn’t have to pay someone to do it. It was all so nice and it was great having his friends’ support. As the big day grew closer it became apparent that his friends grew less and less excited as they called less, went out and did things with Scott less. The wedding was right around the corner and Scott couldn’t get a hold of his best man, then we had heard rumors that he wasn’t going to say anything, just not show up on the wedding day! Scott and I went to his work, found him and asked him to his face if he was going to back out at the last second. The guy smiled and confirmed the rumor to be true. That was the last time Scott saw that friend. There was an awesome friend from high school Scott was able to call at the last minute and ask to be his best man - without question he said, “Yes.” The friend that was going to video tape the wedding wrote an e-mail to Scott (at the last minute) and said, “I respect you too much to attend your wedding.” There was another friend who without word just dropped out of sight just as we were getting ready to tie the knot. We were lucky enough to have REAL friends who were there to watch us join our two lives into one. Even though I was extremely ill with staph (that I didn’t know about), because of our true friends we had an awesomely great time! We were quick to realize that we didn’t need those losers to have a fun and healthy life. I know these friends dropped out because they did not approve of me - and I think it’s sad, because if they really cared for their friend (Scott) they would have stuck around to see the amazing dynamic and awesome family we have built in these five years of marriage.

One of these dropout friends of Scott’s has been commenting on his weblog and recently left a comment on one of my posts. He wrote about his grandmother dying from cancer (sorry to hear that) and then he goes into a regret about losing contact with Scott… Well, duh! Your choice - all the way! Scott was an awesome friend to this “friend” and he was stupid to have ever turned his back on him the way he did. There’s a little something called Karma…

One of my close friends had a large group of friends around him all the time. He was living the life he wanted with many “good friends” around him to enjoy. Things were going well, and with a blink of an eye it was over - boom! His world, his life had been wiped away as if it were written on a whiteboard and simply erased. The friends, who he thought would stand behind him, vanished. Life as he knew it was not only turned upside down, but everyone he thought were friends had left him alone and bleeding. No one ever stood up and corrected the wrong, no one ever gave an apology, no one ever looked back. Depression began to surface and suck him down. He sat day after day trying to figure out life - everything he thought it was had destroyed everything he is. His wife, who stood by his side, told him he needed to get out and do something. These words were a birth to a new life and a new meaning for my friend. He stood up and he moved forward with his life, going down a path he was meant to walk. He’s now in a job he is awesome at and he is surrounded by people who love him. “Real friends” who will be there for him, protect him and support him - no matter what! I know that the past still hurts and it’s not fair, but the present is full of life all around and people you know you can trust.

People who pose to be a friend then walk away when needed the most - they have no backbone! They have no soul. As I mentioned before, I believe in karma and I know that karma will catch up with them - if it hasn’t already. Apologies help, but the simple fact still remains that they turned their back. Life has its way of shoving us in the right direction. I can’t say where Scott and I would be had his “friends” remained loyal, but I am sure we wouldn’t be here. I love being here right now with my little boy running around us. Life was obviously better without them. I know my friend wouldn’t be doing the awesome work he does without the smack in your face life dished him, and I know we wouldn’t be friends. As cruel as it may sound, I am happy his life came my way. I am sorry it was as painful as it was.

Friendship is a powerful thing and people are stupid to just throw it away! Look around and be happy for the good buddies you have. They are as much a part of your life as your family. Love them and validate them because you deserve them.

Today I drove to the middle school, where I have worked for the past three years, for the last time. It was a surreal feeling as I parked and walked into a school I will probably never return to. Saying “Hello” to staff members, and opening the door to my room for the last time. Today was a free/fun day. Both the boys I work with are ninth graders and went to the slide show first thing. It was a moving tribute to the entire ninth grade class, who are going to the high school next year. Then for two and a half hours they hung out in the courtyard and signed yearbooks - for the last time at middle school. When the kids boarded the buses and began to drive off, the entire staff stood waving good-bye and singing, “na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good-bye.” The ninth graders drove away from the middle school for the last time as they said, “good-bye” for the last time. This was their biggest milestone; a lot happened to them during middle school. They arrived as children and left as young adults headed towards life. We watched them grow, and we watched them struggle with identity and sexuality. Their next three years will be spent at high school - where I get to watch them finish growing and graduate into real life. My eyes were teary today, I can only imagine how emotional I will get the day they walk across the stage, never looking back, and my “good-bye” will be a final one. I am excited for my students, as well as myself. I was not born to do this job, but I believe I am here, right now, for a purpose. I am here to help these boys through the toughest time of life and groom them to go into the world with their heads up high and ready. I am proud of these kids, we spend a lot of time together and we became a second family. We trust, love and sometimes hate each other - but in the end we are always there for one another.

I have had the pleasure to work with awesome folks! People I can call friends as they have become a major part of my life. I will miss walking into second period each day, and looking into the faces of friendship. We are all pack animals, and I had finally found my pack. I am so sad to have to leave the comfort zone that is room A-3, and the welcoming faces that enlightened me each and every day. They supported me and loved me and I will miss them very much! I know we will stay together on the “outside,” because I never want to let them go! My students had great teachers, who showed patience and understanding. Through it all and in the end my students learned a lot from these awesome people. I will miss them too.

I don’t plan on staying with the school district after my students graduate from high school, and the good-byes I handed out today were more than just an “until we meet again,” but more of a true “good-bye.” I probably will never see these folks again. The great office ladies who always had a smile and went out of their way to help me out. The principals (all three of them) who have supported my students and me, and who are the biggest partiers of them all! The school’s dynamic was the the best I had ever worked under - the best atmosphere, the friendliest staff… I could probably go on and on about them. The bottom line is that I have never worked at a place like this middle school, and I probably never will again. I looked back, one last time, as I left and I said good-bye for the final time. My heart cried because I loved my job there - but the reason I showed up every morning won’t change. Next year I’ll still be with the same two students, the same two reasons I do this job every morning, at the high school. The students are stepping up to another major milestone in their lives, but so am I.

Good-bye!

Never forget the grooviest Interpreter to ever touch your lives!

I’ll miss you…

The local newspaper has this thing where it hands out questionnaires to area students and asks them a few simple questions. “What’s your favorite subject?” “Who is your favorite teacher?” “What other activities do you like to do?” “What is your favorite and not so favorite part of school?” “What job would you like when you grow up?” and “Who are your heroes?” I think it’s cute to see what they have to say. My niece was interviewed for her first grade class - lucky girl! They took a cute picture and placed her photograph and answers in the paper for the entire town to read. The first little boy (third grader) said that he wants to be a “NASCAR Driver” when he grows up - sounds like something a little kid would say. The next little boy (Kindergarten) said he would like to be a “doctor” when he grows up - smart kid! The next little boy (third grader) said that he wants to be a “computer software designer” when he grows up - wow there’s a kid whose parents must have been really proud of their son! And then there was my niece… (first grader) whose reply was, “I want to work at the Shark Buffet” when I grow up… My jaw hit the floor as my brain argued with my eyes that I must be reading the comment wrong. I read and reread it several times before I began to ask, “What was she thinking?” over and over again. The “Shark Buffet” is what my niece calls the buffet inside the Casino Fandango, where her mother worked for a short time. I’m not saying that working at the buffet isn’t a good choice - but to have it as a goal? I understand that she is in the first grade, and probably doesn’t totally understand the question, but the kid from the kindergarden class made more sense!

Kids look to their parents for guidance and answers to life. It’s our job as parents to make sure our children are safe, fed and knowledgable for success in life. We teach them that you need to work to live, and that money doesn’t just magically appear in our bank accounts. I hope that by the time children are at the middle school level, they understand that goals for their future are important. They need to start thinking about who they want to be as adulthood quickly approaches. Some kids never get the point, and they are the kids that will need a job at the buffet. There are high school and college students who need jobs until their real life begins - they will get a job at the buffet. I am not knocking the jobs at the buffet - looked at yearly, they probably make more money then I do at the school - but is that a goal you want your child to have? Kids look to their parents for these answers when they are too young to understand the question. If daddy is lawyer, then little Johnny is more likely to have answered the reporter’s question, “I want to be a lawyer when I grow up.” Or if the greatest moments in a young kid’s life are watching football with his parents, he might answer, “I want to be a football player when I grow up.” If your mother worked in a buffet, then the kid might answer, “I want to work at the Shark Buffet when I grow up.” It’s our job to say, “Hey little Johnny, maybe you should aim higher with life. Mommy works at the buffet, but you could be a doctor and cure sick people.” I just think that if your kid is clueless, then maybe you need to sit them down for a little one on one. Explain to them that while it’s not a bad thing to work at a buffet, there are better things life has to offer.

My niece is clueless and confused. Sure a huge part of it is being seven years old, and it is part of how she is being raised. My mother is raising her and my niece only sees her own mother every once in a while. It is more of a play date with her mother, than anything. My niece idolizes her mother in the “look at me” syndrome kids who don’t have a parent around get. The child wants to please the parent in hopes that they will “like them” and want the child around more. Nature tells us to be close to the mother, they are everything we need to survive the first 13 years of life. When mother isn’t around, the nature within us freaks out and needs to get that missing element back! Children then believe if they please the mother, the mother will “like” them and want to be with them. My niece is only doing what nature is telling her to do - pleasing her mother. I just think it is sad. I also know no matter what I say to her, or tell her about life, I do not matter to her. I am not the one she has to please. I do think that she needs to be sat down and someone important, someone she trusts, needs to explain what other choices she has in life. Like a ballerina dancer, or a school teacher… Something that she can say, “Yeah, that does sound better than serving food and washing dishes.”

Parents, we need to step it up and be there for our children! We are their world, their life and the answers to their universe. If we don’t show them the “right” path in life, there is slim chance they will find it on their own. I thought I had taught my niece more about life, but what I realized reading her answers in the paper was that I don’t matter as much as her absent mother does. What I am telling her is not important, because I am not the one with the answers for her universe. I understand it, and yet it still boggles my mind. This is so much more than a cute article the paper put out, it’s a view into the lives of these children. You could assume a lot by reading their answers - I know I did.

My niece also will make up an answer if she doesn’t know what to say. She did this in the case of “What other activities do you enjoy?” She said, “Soccer and basketball.” Neither of which she plays. I would love to get her into each sport! I think it would be good for her to be a part of a team, and simply play a sport. I don’t know if she was trying to tell us that those are things she wants to try - or simply blowing smoke to satisfy the reporter.

I just couldn’t believe what my niece had said. The first feeling I got was that of embarassment. The reaction I had was, “What the eff was she thinking?!” Everyone else was like, “Well, that’s okay.” Excuses? Not wanting to see what’s really happening? I don’t really know, because my son is two and a half years-old. It was funny, and most people who commented on what she said had a good laugh about it. Although, is that what we want to do? Laugh at it and pretend there isn’t an underlying problem? I did laugh at it, and I freaked out and then I felt sad because I hear her natural cry. I know that she is just following her instincts without a clue of what is really happening. I just hope through the life she spends around us, that we are able to help her find the right path of life to travel down. My goal for her is that she becomes a successful adult and makes herself proud, first and foremost.

It is never easy hearing the bad news, “You have cancer.” Might as well put a gun to the temple and say, “You have a one in ten chance of living.” When I was ten years old my grandfather, with whom I was very close, passed away from cancer. It was hard, back then, for the doctors to give a concrete reason for the cause of the cancer. It might have been due to smoking, or his war wounds (he had schrapnel embedded into his shoulder blades). It was all over his body, he was terminal by the time the doctors caught it. He surprisingly lived another year and a half after his diagnosis. My grandfather was a strong man with a strong will to survive. It was the worst thing to watch him die. He went from a big strong man, to a fragile thin being. He couldn’t eat food and had a tube feeding him through his nose. His body was under war against itself, and it was sad as he lost the battle. Millions of people die each year from this disease…

Not too long ago, Fall of 2005, my Aunt Marian was diagnosised with Lung Cancer. Years of smoking and being around people who smoked, finally caught up with her. It was a blow getting the news. You know it happens to thousands of people each day, but to have it hit that close to home is scary. My mother’s side of the family has had many cancers, (skin, breast, ovarian…etc.) Most of them being treated in early stages and without fear of death. The stats of Lung Cancer are pretty terminal, only one in ten people diagnosed with lung cancer survives the disease! There are about 3 million people dying each year from lung cancer - it’s an alarming amount of lives that are being murdered by this disease! It used to be a male-dominated disease, but in the past few decades the amount of women getting lung cancer have increased.

When I was a kid, my brother, our cousin (she’s 3 months younger then me) and I were the “Three Musketeers.” My cousin’s mother was the “cool” mom. My aunt picked us up from school and would take us out for ice cream - just because. My Aunt had a VW Bug, and she would drive us down the street making the car “dance” as she jerked it from side to side. I used to name Barbie dolls after my aunt. It was because of her (and my uncle) that I learned sign language… I just loved her and thought she was the best aunt in the world! I loved being around her, she was groovy. There was a large part of our lives where we didn’t see each other, but fate has its way of bringing souls back together. My aunt and cousin now live right outside of Carson City - mere minutes away from us, but we really don’t see them too often. I had heard that she was diagnosed with cancer but I didn’t get a chance to see her until all her hair was gone due to the chemotherapy, and her body bloated from the medication. It felt like I was hit by a truck! It was hard to see her in that state - knowing that inside her body was the same enemy that years before had killed my grandfather.

Her spirits were high and she was in such a good mood! My cousin had made a mini-home movie about her mother and the cancer. It was music, pictures and my Aunt describing her day-to-day routine. I have said before that I am not a crier - it takes a lot to get me to cry. But I just couldn’t hold back as it truly hit home that my aunt, my mentor growing up, and the grooviest person I know, was battling cancer. I have faith in my aunt’s will power, and I know she can beat this disease.

Just last week Aunt Marian had surgery to remove the tumor from her lung. The chemotherapy had done its job and shrunk the tumor size small enough for the doctor to safely go in and remove it. The doctor only had to remove a small amount of lung along with the tumor. She bounced back from surgery really fast and was able to come home yesterday (Saturday). A really good outcome for this type of surgery! It is extremely invasive, leaving a hole in your lung and a large opening on the side of your back. I was able to pick my aunt up from the hospital mid-afternoon and I took her to my mother’s house. She’s doing well, and if anyone can fight this disease and win the battle of life, she can!

A year ago Scott’s cousin, Jason Benson, lost his young life to a side effect of the treatment of his cancer. A blood clot travelled to his heart and killed him. Jason and his dad had just returned home from a treatment when Jason collasped. His father frantically tried to breathe life back into his 24-year-old son, but he couldn’t be saved. Jason battled Testicular cancer and at one point won, but like most cancers - it came back. Our family makes donations to the Lance Armstorng foundation: Live Strong every year in Jason’s memory. If you can, donate! Help them out, there needs to be a cure before we lose anymore family members (or ourselves) to this murder.

A few years ago, my cousin (by marriage), Ernie Brown, lost his battle with Brain cancer. He had these really bad headaches and was trying to get better on his own. They were only headaches - right? Ernie finally asked someone who worked for him to take him to the hospital. The tumor was large - they put him into emergency surgery. Ernie lived long enough to say good bye to all those that mattered most in his life. Ernie was in an ambulance with his younger son when his life ended… Ernie was a good, loving man, but cancer has no mercy.

We all will remember those wonderful people we have lost to cancer and we know whereever they are, it’s better. We need to fight to find a cure! Fight for life, do what you need to be a healthy, happy human being. *Aunt Marian, please do what you have to in order to get better, I want the car to dance again…