Dreams are something we all have, we all strive for and we all try to create. Everyone has different dreams, I mean it might be a young girl’s dream to grow up and become a mother, or a doctor or even president of the United States. A mother might dream of a better life for her children, or a father might dream of the day he gets to play ball with his son. There are some dreams we take for granted, like the dream of graduating high school, or college. The dream of making yourself proud of goals you met while you were alive. Dreams that you could hand down to other generations as a, “See, look what I did.”

Tuesday, May 23, 2006, my mother took the final steps of a dream she has had a long time. One that she worked hard towards and one that she’ll be able to tell her grandchildren, “Look what Grammy did!” With her cap and gown on, she crossed the stage with pride and accepted her diploma.

A few years ago she gave birth to a dream, to graduate from college. It took her about five years to complete all the courses she needed to get her General Studies degree – but she got it! We all went to watch her shining moment. Sammy was a little cranky and had no plans of simply sitting there to watch people he didn’t know cross a stage. He was the best kid for the opening ceremonies and the salute to our nation’s flag, but that’s where he got off. Scott took him out to play, and they popped in every so often to see where Grammy was in line. The students stood and family members went rushing down to the front row for photo ops. I was lucky that my mother was in the first row of students, although I had seen another name on the program that I recognized and I wanted to get her picture as well. After waiting through all the students, I realized she wasn’t present. My mother’s name was called along with the degree she earned as she crossed over to two very important looking people (Regents) and one (somebody else) to shake hands with. She tossed in a fist pump when she centered the stage. It was loud and clear she was a very proud person who had just made one of the most important dreams in her life come true.

That was a moment for all of us – I guess anyone in the auditorium as well. Whenever you see a person with that much joy jetting out of them, you cannot help but feel it. It gets passed around for all to share and allow others dreaming to move forward and do what they can to make their dreams come true too. It’s a big “in your face” moment that anything you want is right there waiting for you. I am not a big cryer, but it was a moving moment. No, I didn’t shed tears, but I felt the pride for my mother that evening. I know that this meant more to her than it did most of the young kids passing through on their way to the University. She had waited most of her life for this moment, and after a marriage, two children and a lot of work to get by with life, she found time to squeeze this in and make it happen. As Sammy would say, “Good job Grammy!”

Dreaming is a powerful thing, anyone can do just about anything they want to. They just have to dream it first.

I am totally stealing the idea for this post from my friend, David, who writes his blog posts around a song title and lyrics. I am not going to go on and on about the song I am going to quote, but David’s latest blog gave me the idea for this entire blog. Thanks David!

“Let’s talk about sex baby,

Let’s talk about you and me,
Let’s talk about all the good things,
and the bad things that may be…

Let’s talk about sex,

Let’s talk about SEX!”
-Salt n’ Pepper

There is nothing about love in those lyricks. “Hey baby,” The teenage boy said to his current girlfriend. “If you love me you’ll have sex with me.” Wham bam thank you ma’am and he never calls her again. No, this never happened to me personally, but it did happen to friends of mine. Plus, working in a middle school (9th grade) I hear it all the time. Is love sex and sex love? Sure – to some degree. I believe that two people in love will “make love” from time to time. I also believe “sex” and “love” are two separate things. Sex is something we do just to satisfy urges we have “down there.” *wink* Love is something we all want by our sides, holding our hand and guiding us through life. Most of us end up married to our best friends, and not our lovers. Although there are some lucky few that married their best friend and lover… Not everyone is that lucky. I would rather face life with my best friend, someone I can stand next to and feel safe, someone I can talk to about anything and know he’ll understand me. I don’t want to argue my way through life, having a constant tug-of-war of who’s right and why. I think that if someone loves you, with their whole being, then there will be understanding and patience. If the person you marry really loves you, they’ll stay there and work it out. If it comes down to the one and only argument being, “You won’t have sex with me!” then there is something a lot more powerful than sex missing in that relationship.

Sex is an act, where Love is an emotion that we all long for. As with everything there is give and take, and if you love the person you are with, then you give a little and take a little without a second thought. My friend, David, was talking about these two friends of ours who are unhappy in their marriage – probably for many different reasons. The other day when David was over visiting these friends, the husband’s one big complaint was that he just had this awesome house built, and they have lived in it for about nine months and the wife hasn’t given any booty all but about three times. He wants the act, not the emotion. The question arises, “Why stay together then?” if the answer is, “For the kids.” WOW, that’s original! Don’t ever do it for the kids! What are you really teaching them if you and your spouse stick it out for the welfare of the children? Because while you “think” you are doing the right thing, you are not. You are teaching your children unhappiness, no self worth, and nothing about the awesome emotion that is love. I really like my friends, and I think that it’s sad they won’t part ways. If you don’t love each other, there is no reason to stay together – is there? How can he demand sex from her? He might as well call up a service, we have out here legally in the state of Nevada, and be serviced. It’s the same thing as having meaningless sex with a woman who lives in your house with whom you coexist and share a couple of kids with. If he loved her he would look at the big picture and ask the right questions, “What’s wrong?” and “What can I do?” These aren’t hard questions and the answers might bring light, happiness and love back into their marriage.

I guess I am attacking the husbands a lot here, and that’s mainly because I am a female and tend to support my sisters. I know that there are woman out there that do the same things to guys. Woman who want the act but don’t want the emotional involvement. I believe there are guys out there who want to be close and love someone – pure and simple. We all tend to sterotype males as being the horny ones, but there are females out there that act the same way.

The bottom line is, if two people are not happy, or are thinking of divorce, due to the amount of “lovin’” they get in the bedroom, then they do not love each other. Love and sex are two different things, and I do not believe you are with the one you truly love if “sex” is tearing you apart. I looked up “love” in the dictionary and I was saddened to see that it had the word “sex” in its definition. The world we live in is screwed up, and the ideals of having to please the man (or woman) in the bedroom in order to obtain, and keep, love is overrated. I am sure if you ask a couple who have been married for 60 years, “What’s your secret?” the answer will not be, “The action in the bedroom! whoopee!” but more like, “Communication.” Look at the person you chose to share your life with, and if you feel a peace and happiness just looking at him/her, and you couldn’t imagine life without that person, then you are probably in love… Don’t let the ideals of society and the urges you have get in the way of how you feel about that person. Life is so much more than a good lay…

In the fall of 2005, the reality TV show American Idol went around the United States looking for their new superstar. We, as usual, tuned in and at their Las Vegas interviews a grey-haired young man stood in front of Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson (the judges) with nerves of steel. When asked why he was there, Taylor Hicks replied with, “I want my voice to be heard.” They didn’t think he’d make it too far in the competition because America wouldn’t vote him through – due to the way he looked. Week after week we watched and waited for the end to come, but week after week Ryan Seacrest gave him the good news of, “You’re safe!” There were a few great singers on this show and as I watched Taylor stay safe while they were eliminated – well, it shocked me. I think he has a disabliity and I figured Simon Cowell had sealed his fate by saying that he wouldn’t make it – America tends to listen to Simon, and America tends to be extremely judgemental towards anyone that’s not “perfect.” I was hoping that Simon would have to eat his words on the day Taylor won. I must admit that I really didn’t think he’d make it to the final two, though – no way! Then Chris was kicked off – and I could have had money bet that he would win the competition. Yeah, my eye candy was gone, but it opened up a realization that Taylor could really take this show and shove it up Simon’s butt! Each week I was watching and hoping that Taylor would prevail, but each week I just knew Taylor would be the next to go… Then Scott gave me the web address to an awesome site that probed the Idol phone lines and projected the winners and losers of each show. So tonight I looked it up, and there was one of those moments where my eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Taylor Hicks – the guy with the silver hair and the one that didn’t “look” right for this competition – was the one with the most calls! And he wasn’t just a few hundred calls above the rest – he was ahead by thousands! He is more than the American Idol, he is the American Dream! He showed us that heart and soul conquers ideals and sterotyping. That anyone with a dream can go anywhere they want, they just have to do it. Putting one foot in front of the other, taking it day-by-day and never allowing what others say to stop him. Taylor Hicks is my hero. He stood on the stage at the Kodak Theatre Wednesday night and he took home the gold. Good for you Taylor Hicks! I hope you have a great life and hit it big! Unlike others who have won American Idol… what’s their names again?

Talylor Hicks – your voice is heard, loud and clear!

Sometimes all you need is to be around some good people to make a day worth it. Saturday afternoon we met up with some friends for a nice hike (actually a “walk”, as Scott pointed out to me) around Indian Creek Reservoir

.

It is a really nice out of the way place that is serene. Some like to camp there, but the beauty of it is that not a lot of people go there. We went up mid-day and walked half way around the lake before the three girls were done. They had walked most of the way in the water and were cold and tired pretty quickly.

Poor little Samma, he wanted to go swimming so bad, but it’s a nonswimming body of water… for reasons unknown. They seem to have a motherlode of rules, but the odd thing is that none of them are posted at the reservoir. We found all the information online and figured if they are not posted, then how are we supposed to know? We brought the dogs for a free run all over the place. The Whites (our friends) have a German Shepard named Zookie, and our two adorable mutts, Ebony and Baxter. They were all over the place, although I did keep Baxter on a leash due to him being so little. I didn’t want him to try and follow the two larger dogs out and lose them! He was a good boy and didn’t fight the leash thing. After, when we were looking at the rules and regulations online, we noticed the “all animals must be kept on a leash” rule – again, it was not posted there so we weren’t breaking the rules because we didn’t know there was a rule.

After we got back to the cars and the girls changed out of their wet clothes, we headed back into Gardnerville for a picnic (sort of thing) and play at Lampe Park. buy tramadol

The Whites were explaining to me how Lampe Park was kinda famous because it has one of the largest playgrounds in like all of Northern Nevada or something along those lines. The girls played with Sammy and after a little bit of being dragged around like a doll, Sammy had enough of them and went to play with Daddy. They all had a great time together and so did I with David and Victoria. I enjoy chilling out and hanging back with some good conversation. Scott is always on Sammy patrol when we are out and about. I feel badly that he’s always the one running after and monitoring our little fella. I have pain issues and it’s hard for me to run after Sammy, after a short time I would have to leave and then no one would have been able to have a good time. Plus, I am the one who likes to talk and Scott is a big kid who likes to play – so in an odd way it all works out.

We enjoy the Whites’ company, and we know our niece loves to be with her good friend, Sara. When the girls were 18 months old they met at a Kinder Music class and then my niece stopped going and the girls ran into each other again three years later in a ballet class. My niece stopped going to the ballet class (seems to be a common occurence with her), but this time we kept in touch with the Whites, both for the girls and ourselves. Memoral Day weekend we are thinking of either going to Indian Creek Reservoir (again) or Lake Tahoe with the Whites for the day. There’s nothing better than hanging out with good friends.

I feel all important now that I have my own site. I had been asking for one for a long time now. I have been telling Scott that I need to be taken seriously and I felt like the Blogger site just wasn’t doing it for me. Nothing against Blogger, just that it had some nasty mood swings, and I need something a little more stable. It was a very thoughtful Mother’s Day gift from my guys. There is still work this new and improved site needs, it is still under construction. It’s going to look so awesome – Scott is going to have to use my site to sell himself to other folks wanting an awesome site built. Until the construction is complete, this one-page design will have to do. I need feedback! Please, if you have a moment – leave me a comment and let me know what you thing of Scott’s design. The awesome picture in the background is of Pike Place Public Market in downtown Seattle, Washington state. Scott is the artist behind the picture. He took it in January when we were up there for Christmas and New Year’s, and then he perfected it on the puter when we got back home – pretty groovy, isn’t it? I love the image, it shows the beauty of the city pure and simple. I think the site is coming along wonderfully – but I need your feedback. Thanks!

Okay, now that I have welcomed you to MY

web site, I wanna get to some serious blogging! I mean that’s why I wanted my own site in the first place…

I don’t know if everyone feels this way – When a friend of mine is feeling stressed, or sad, I feel it too and I want to fix it. I know I can’t fix how they feel, but I can let them know that I care. I hope it gives them a little boost of happiness with the simple thought that their friend cares about them… My friend, Mr. Naughty Pants, is a pretty darn good pal of mine, and working with him is an experience I will remember forever (for a few different reasons *wink*). I want to touch base on his teaching for a moment, because I think that he is one of the best teachers I know – by far! We all have one of those teachers that made a positive mark in our lives. A teacher we will never forget and would love to thank for the awesome way they touched our lives. I sit back and watch Mr. Naughty with his students and I know that they will probably forget much of what happened in middle school, but if there is one good thing they’ll carry with them the rest of their lives, it will be him.

I hope Mr. Naughty Pants knows what an awesome support group he has standing behind him. He’s got three powerful ladies who have his back and will go to bat for him at any given moment. He has the entire staff at our school and the entire student body who like him way too much to allow anything to happen to him… What can I say, he’s a loved guy and he’s a permanent part of the middle school family. “With great power comes great responsibility” -Uncle Ben (Spiderman) When you have a good friend you don’t let them fall – even if they are pushed by someone else…

I have a few great passions in life and one of them is Friendship. It has to be the most powerful thing in existence. Mr. Naughty Pants shows everyone he comes in contact with (especially the kids) kindness and respect. He will be remembered… I guarantee it!

Thanks for visiting MY new site – yay

! I am very excited to have it. I have a million and one ideas for this site! I hope Scott can keep up with me (he’s doing all the wok), and I hope you’ll keep coming back to see what new and exciting things I am doing.

Friday – my buddy, Mr. Naughty Pants, invited Scott, Sammy and me to chill with him and his lady out at Lake Topaz on their wakeboard boat. I couldn’t say no, for two important reasons; 1 – I really enjoy hanging out with the Naughtys; and 2 – I love boating and knew Scott would like to learn how to wakeboard. We planned on heading out right after school, but we were a wee bit behind schedule because of me. But before you judge, allow me to explain why I kept everyone waiting. I had gotten out to my car to get my change of clothes and then I went into Mr. Naughty Pants’s room to change. There seemed to be something odd going on in Mr. Naughty Pants’s room, all the desks and chairs were moved and put up out of the way. Mr. Naughty Pants was not in there and because his bathroom door has issues with the lock – I didn’t want to chance it. I had left my keys in my car, so I jacked Mr. Naughty Pants’s keys and went to the hall bathroom. Mr. Naughty Pants’s keys didn’t work, so I went to the front desk to borrow Mrs. Bitch Pants’s keys. When I got back to the bathroom, I realized why Mr. Naughty Pants’s key probably didn’t work – someone was in the bathroom! Back to the main office to use the bathroom there – I was thoughtful enough to give Mrs. Bitch Pants Mr. Naughty Pants’s key, figuring he would come looking for them (he did). I changed and had to chat with a few folks on my way out. I finally got out to my car, and there was Sammy all decked out in his bathing suit garb ready to get on that boat!

It didn’t take too long for us to haul ourselves out to Lake Topaz (on the border of Nevada and California). Mr. Naughty Pants’s nephew came along with a couple of friends, Mikey and Renee. Mrs. Naughty Pants was going to meet up with us a little later, with the Naughty sons. We got the boat out into the water and set out to find the perfect spot for Mr. Naughty to hop into the chilly water to pee. Nephew Naughty explained to me that that’s how they judge who wakeboards first – in order of who needs to pee the worst. Mr. Naughty Pants didn’t want to wakeboard just yet, he just needed to relieve himself. Sammy saw Mr. Naughty Pants get into the water and he wanted to join him! We held him back long enough for Mr. Naughty Pants to do his business and for that business to dissipate. Sammy was side by side with Mr. Naughty Pants looking out over the lake. Sammy was at awe with the lake and he was telling Mr. Naughty Pants all about it.

Mr. Naughty Pants was really awesome with our little fella – he talked to him, went swimming with him… Heck, Mr. Naughty Pants even let Sammy drive his prized posession – the boat!

Sammy was quick to find the horn, a little red button. I was freaked out, because anyone else would have been all over Sammy, telling him to stop that and whatnot. Not really understanding the pure joy of a little red button. So, I was telling him to stop it, but Mr. Naughty Pants was like, “Why? It’s just the horn.” That was the coolest thing ever! He truly understood the joy Sammy was feeling with the little red button.

Most people kinda act like Sam is an alien from another planet and they don’t know what to do with him, or say to him. Mr. Naughty Pants treated Sammy like another important human being on the planet Earth and we really appreciated that!

Mrs. Naughty Pants and the two Naughty boys weren’t far behind. The Naughty nephew was the only one who had some wakeboarding action, in the form of kneeboarding, before Mrs. Naughty Pants and the boys arrived. There were 10 of us on their boat – it was a little crowded, but we worked it out. Sammy found the good spot on Mrs. Naughty Pants’s lap.

It was the perfect view of the wakeboarders, the Naughty boys were second and third to go (they also did the kneeboard). In the second and third grades, these boys were awesome! They kicked some serious kneeboarding butt! After, it was time for the big boys to show us how wakeboarding is done. Mikey went first with a few tricks, but nothing to ooh and ahh at. Then Scott went…

He didn’t make it out of the water. This is a typical issue beginner wakeboarders have. The other problem Scott faced that others usually do not was that he had never skateboarded nor snowboarded before. He was totally clueless to what needed to be done. They tried to explain it to him, but being in the water and being away from the boat, it was hard to hear and understand what the folks were trying to say. Maybe next time Scott. It was time for Mr. Naughty Pants to show everyone how the big boys roll.

He caught some air and looked like an old pro out there on the water. I had never seen (or really heard of) wakeboarding before, so little impressed me. Although, Mr. Naughty looked like he was Mr. Wakeboarder out there as he made it look really easy. Mr. Naughty Pants let his bud, Mikey, go again since he and his lady, Renee, had to leave early. Mikey got out there and showed everyone up with his leap over the wake.

Mikey kicked everyone’s butt as he bid farewell to the lake. Mrs. Naughty, the youngest Naughty son, Sammy and I found a comfy spot in the front of the boat. It started to get cold as the wind picked. After we dropped off the Naughty nephew, Mikey and Renee – we climbed into the back where the wind wasn’t as bad.

Mr. Naughty Pants offered Scott and I the ultimate power – a chance to drive the boat. Anyone with an ounce of a controlling personality knows that is where the control is! I jumped to the opportunity to drive the boat, but I was really careful and gentle with it. Scott got behind the wheel and ripped into it! Then I got jealous and needed to give it one more try – but I was too afraid of flipping the boat, so I never really got to rip into it and get the bow wet. Maybe next time *wink*

Thank you Naughty Pants family! We all had a great time on the boat and atempting to wakeboard. Sammy had fun going swimming with Mr. Naughty Pants and Scott cannot wait to hit the wakeboard again!

We really enjoy your company. You are good folks and we are lucky to know you all. The first day of school, when I met Mr. Naughty Pants for the first time, I knew there was something special there. I am SO happy I really got to know him, he is an awesome teacher and a great friend. Life is better with the Naughtys in our life – and next year when I go to the high school, we will see the Naughtys all the time!!! This is a friendship.

Hi.

There is so much power in a few simple words. So much can be accomplished with just telling someone something from the heart. I recently wrote a post about our vacation down to southern California and the annoyances we encounted with a few people. I am totally aware that I offended – pretty much everyone. I definitely feel outcast by the Schrantz clan at the moment. Although it was NOT my intention to end up as some asshole the family hates. I just needed to vent – out loud. Anyhow – this is not what I wanted to write about. I wanted to talk about how one of the people I vented about – probably the most and worst – came to me and said three simple words, “I am sorry.” She came to me and wanted to talk about what happened. At first I was thinking it was going to be a “who’s wrong” match, and I was going to end up yelling at her and slamming her even more – in person (via AIM). It was nothing like that – I yelled a little, but that’s me. She explained herself and then she uttered those three small words that caused my heart rate to slow as I became calm and collected. We are two different people and will probably never agree on some things, but for the most part things went so very wrong due to lack of communication. After talking to her online about my blog and about the wrongs that happened on the trip – had she just opened up to me on the vacation things would not have been as bad as they turned out. I feel a little sad, because she may have her odd things, but for the most part she is a nice girl. I think had we met a different way and had a chance to “get to know” one another first, things would have gone so much smoother. The simple fact that we cannot travel back in time and change events around – we’ll never get the opportunity to know what could have been…

The vacation was painful for all of us – I do not think (now) one person involved didn’t get hurt in one way or another. I cannot be sorry for what I wrote, it was feelings that came from my heart. If the others involved want to talk things out or even shed light on what was going on in their heads at the time – as Susan did – I am here and willing to listen. Thanks, Susan, for being the big person and for coming to me to apologize for your actions. We will never be on vacation together again – but we understand it’s for the best. So, it’s a good thing, and there are no hard feelings between us.

I have the biggest problem with people just not communicating with me. I let it be known that I love to talk, it’s really no secret. Yet, I don’t know what it is about me or who I’m with or what on earth keeps people holding things they need to say inside. I am an extremely understanding human being – bring it! Although, I must warn, if you want to attack me personally then don’t doubt I won’t defend myself. What person wouldn’t stand up for themselves if another were to begin telling them negative things about themselves? I am just a normal human being – boring, I know. I just want answers for why – is that so wrong? Like my brother-in-law, he read the “Some People” blog, and wrote that he hopes I sit on a pin. Well, why did he act the way he did in the first place? It’s not a lot to ask – is it? Communicate with ME! Try me – it’s not going to hurt. Wonderful things happen when two people sit down and talk – understanding starts happening. I cannot force the people I care about to talk to me – I can only ask.

There’s so much power in the things you say to people – the little things. “Have a great day.” Sends a positive message that someone cares that you have a good day. “I am sorry.” sends a message that you didn’t mean to do what you did and want to make things right. I hope you all have an awesome life! I care about you and I really want you to know that. I mean, didn’t the intro to this blog entry feel personal? Like I was talking right to you? It’s words man – they are groovy. “The pen is mightier than the sword.” How true is that?! It’s great and I love words. Come on, let’s talk soon.

Bye, bye for now.

Mr. Naughty Pants was just telling me he thinks there needs to be more blog entries about him – he likes to be center of attention. I don’t blame him, so do I. We went over to the Naughty’s for a BBQ and to just hang out with awesome folks. We had such a great time! Mr. Naughty Pants had asked that all the guests bring a side dish and some drinks – no problem. I don’t do well in the kitchen – I mean, I cook stuff but nothing fancy. Whenever there is a party at school I just go out and buy something. I don’t want to subject anyone to what I create – then have them hate it. I was at the store shopping for a party we had at school and I asked Scott if I should try to make a side dish for the Naughty’s BBQ? He was all over that idea, running around the store getting the things I’d need for potato salad. The last time I tried to make potato salad I ended up turning the potatoes to mush and had to abort the mission! I do cook, and the few items I make, I make them well. I am always afraid to go beyond what I know – because usually they turn out bad. I decided to make the potato salad on Saturday – so if it turned to mush again, I would have time to rush out to the store and get something else. To my surprise it turned out pretty good – yay!

We hopped in the car and headed over to the Naughty’s house for the festivities. Mr. Naughty Pants BBQed tri-tip steaks – yum! It was such a nice afternoon there, talking with Mrs. Naughty Pants (getting to know the other half of Mr. Naughty Pants), meeting the nephew Naughty Pants and some new pals of the Naughty’s. Sammy had a blast with the Naughty children (ha ha ha – I crack myself up sometimes), playing in the backyard and in their rooms. Sammy even got to bring home some building blocks that the Naughty children don’t play with anymore – Thanks! Although according to the Naughty nephew, Mr. Naughty Pants stays up late, and plays with the blocks when everyone is asleep. So, maybe Sammy broke Mr. Naughty Pants’s heart – stealing his secret toys…. No, I won’t even get started with what I think Mr. Naughty Pants’s secret toys are. (eew!)

They have a very nice home and I learned that Mr. Naughty Pants is a talented artist! Although I am sad to say we didn’t get pictures of the party – maybe the next time I am over at the Naughty’s I will try to get a picture of this awesome painting done by Mr. Naughty himself. It’s of Noah’s Ark – and I couldn’t believe that I couldn’t stop looking at it. It was really a work of art! Kudos Mr. Naughty Pants.

Scott had a great time playing with the two Boxers (doggies) that the Naughtys have. They were rough housing in the back yeard and the Naughty pup was charging at Scott trying to knock the 6 foot 6 inch man down – and the Boxer is just powerful enough that it almost succeeded a few times! What awesome looking dogs – the older one (about 6 years-old) was tri-color and the puppy (1 year-old) was tan and white. The puppy’s mouth was about as big as our Baxter puppy! Mr. Naughty Pants had his doggies under control and harmless – he has two young boys and the dogs get along great with the kids! There was a baby and the Boxer pup was licking him clean! It was really cute – the baby wasn’t going to need a bath tonight! The baby was chewing on one of the building blocks and he was willing to share with the Boxer – too cute!

Although Scott came away from the Naughtys with a few Naughty habbits – not to worry, I’ll have him back to the way he was before the Naughty experence before he knows what happened. No one spanks me and lives to tell about it! (*wink*)

It was a nice day with yummy food (thanks for the comment that you enjoyed my salad!), and great company! Thank you to the Naughty Family!

What an odd thought – life before Sam. When I was a teenage girl hanging out at the pool with my friend, we talked about what our futures would be like. Normal teenage girl talk, trying to envision our adult selves. We both agreed we wanted to have boys, who we’d dress in the latest styles and be the coolest moms ever. I wanted to name my son Sam – because it was a cool name and he wasn’t going to be a dork! It’s weird that it all came true – like we were channeling our future selves – I only wish I knew what ever happened with that friend. When I hit my mid-twenties I started to realize something, a common ground among many of the friends I had. No one really respected their parents – blaming them for the hells in their lives. This was telling me that the parents were at fault for the children’s lives being a mess. I made a decision that I really didn’t want children, I never wanted to be at fault for screwing up a life – I didn’t want to be responsible for that. I made up my mind that life would be better without children, the world was a nasty screwed up place anyways. Then I met Scott who was up front about the way he felt about the whole kid thing – no way! That was perfect – I was with a guy who thought the same way I did and there would be no pressure and life was going to be childless…

Then, one fateful night, Sammy was created without any warning. I remember feeling like my body was screaming, “You’re pregnant!” and I kept thinking it was a lie. Then the monthly little annoyance did not arrive and my heart started to sink as the realization that my body just might be telling me the truth. I had gotten one test and took it – there was no wait because the result of the test was immediate. I felt as if someone had hit me with a baseball bat – a nightmare was coming true. I didn’t believe the test, so I went right out and bought another one. It was just as fast with its result – but this time I felt a tiny little spark of joy deep within my soul. Of course I didn’t listen to it, this couldn’t be a happy time. There was a child coming into this world – I was going to be its mommy and it was going to hate me. The worst was telling Scott, he was not at all joyful about the idea of becoming a father. As soon as the information became clear to him, he could only think of one thing – get rid of it! I explained that there are two kinds – ones that get abortions and ones that do not. There was no probable cause to do that and I could never do that just because we were afraid. We had nine months to try and figure out what not to do when this life arrived. I also kept figuring that I would miscarry – as my mother and just about every female in my family had. It was also on my mind that I was the one who lived – I was the baby who made it out alive and I was the baby that had fixed whatever was wrong with my mother. My brother was born 14 months after me and everything was fine with his pregnancy. Maybe I was the one who would change the fate of the women in my family – and I was. Scott was having a hard time accepting this whole idea, but I explained to him that as soon as he accepts the idea and accepts that it’s going to happen – the sooner he’ll have fun planning for it. I just told him to stop fighting it – he wasn’t going to win. It was at that moment he let every bad thought and every panic he was obsessing about – go. He got himself ready and his whole outlook at the child thing changed for the best. He threw himself into learning everything he could, doing everything he could, to try to be the best father he could be. So, we read and went to classes and went shopping (that had to be my favorite part). He went to every doctor’s appointment with me and we did everything together for this little life.

I was thinking that the day Sam was going to be born, and how my mother would be here, but Scott’s wouldn’t. Scott is closer with his mother then he is with his father (and it seems natural as Scott’s brother Tom seems closer to their father. Like they each picked a parent to bond with or something) and I felt he wanted his mama to be there when his first child was born. So, we contacted his parents and asked if she could come down and be here when the due date arrived. She was concerned that she’d be in the way – but we assured her that would not be the case at all. (I get along pretty well with Scott’s mother). She was happy to come down and be a part of the day our family changed for ever.

I was going to have a C-Section and so we knew the day he would be born – we got to pick it. The natural due date was really close to my grandfather’s birthday (my grandfather – with whom I was really close – died when I was ten), so we picked his birthday. We also picked Sam’s middle name after that grandfather – again another thing I figured out as a teenager (creepy). The night before Sam’s planned arrival, we all (Scott, me, his mother and my mother) spent the night at the Circus-Circus Hotel and Casino in Reno. The hospital is right across the street from the Casino, so we were able to simply walk over to our 6am appointment. It was the longest walk ever – we had to walk across the street, then from the doors of the hospital clear across to the opposite end to the maternity ward. Scott’s mother and I were laughing the whole way! I had been feeling a lot of pain and discomfort the whole night before and thought it was nerves – it turned out to be the beginning of contractions. Sammy was meant to be born that day, C-Section or no C-Section he was going to be born that day! How awesome is that – to know that it was as if everything was falling into place, like a puzzle. It was fate – the power that no matter what, this day had been mapped out since the day I was born.

I was ready to get this child out of me! It had been a long nine months and I knew we were both ready for the separation to happen. They numbed me up, brought in Scott and cut my belly open – Sammy was out within four minutes! As soon as our eyes saw Sammy for the first time – that was it! Sam turned our mommy and daddy switches to “on” and we were parents! He was healthy and doing well – I wasn’t so lucky. I had some complications – nothing serious, but ended up staying in the hospital for a week. I had no idea what was happening to me, but good god the hormones were racing and every inch of my body had this uncontrollable impulse to hold Sam and stay close to him. I didn’t want anyone to hold him – and when they did, it was like a screaming alarm in my head saying over and over “get him back!” until I got him back. When I held him all was calm and everything was good. I didn’t mind Scott holding him, for short intervals at a time, but I was being controlled by something I couldn’t control. He was mine and I was his mother and it was the best feeling in the world.

I look at him now, (two and a half years old) obsessed with the Toy Story movie, and I can’t even imagine life without Sam. He gives me reason – to wake up, to live, to be the best mom I can be. When he first came home we were trying to play by the book and everything we “heard” to do, but in the end (when nothing was working out) I listened to my heart and my body. I let the baby tell me what it was I needed to do for him, and I did everything I felt to be natural. We got a lot of heat for they way we choose to parent, but that’s okay, because anyone who knows Sam, knows how happy and healthy he is. He has changed our lives so much – for the best. He is the greatest thing that ever happened to both of us – and I wouldn’t ever want to go back to life before Sam!