Resolutions…
I take New Year’s Resolutions very seriously. When I was a kid, my mother was always on my case for talking too much. So, on New Year’s I pledged to be a quiet person. All year I was the opposite of what I normally was – and everyone was so concerned that I wasn’t well. I thought they would all be so happy that I had finally shut up, but it seemed that talking (as much as I did) was a part of who I was. Though, I could not end my resoultion early – it just didn’t seem right. I waited until the next year and made a resolution to be myself – and my mother began to complain again… I take to heart one major thing I know I must change about myself – because it’s not making me or the people I am around happy. I can do anything I put my mind to – my will power is pretty strong. This past New Year’s ’2006 I made the resolution not to be so damn negative. I wasn’t going to share my personal hells with anyone else – I was going to be happy and positive. It was working – but I slipped and I want to apologize to my friends for being so damn negative. (especially with this blog)
I realized today, when talking to Mr. Naughty Pants, that there are a lot of things I am just going to have to deal with in my head. Some things I need to let go of and walk away from, not give so much heart into. There are going to be problems and people that no matter what I try to do – I will not be able to change. I can make life a little eaiser for the time I am there – make it fun and positive. Make life worth living even though there is a darkness looming around. I am really sorry to my friends (especially Mr. Naughty Pants, Mrs. Smarty Pants, Miss Hotsy-Totsy Pants and Mrs. Bitch (named by Mr. Naughty Pants)). I really enjoy being around you guys and I thank you for allowing me (a non-pants) to be a part of your everyday life. I want to have fun with you all – I never want to pull you into my personal little hell. Mr. Naughty Pants – I know what you’re saying and even though it doesn’t seem like I’m listening – I really am. I always try too hard to make my point – when I need to shut up and listen to yours. I heard you today – and I have been thinking about everything you said. I know that you strive to see the good in people and I respect you for that. I also know you are a reflection of light – that when others are around you they cannot help but to be happy and have fun. It’s you that made this happen – and I hope you know that. I will try to stop bringing my shit your way and try to enjoy this time we all have together.
Okay, so this post ended up being one big fat shout-out to my buddy Mr. Naughty Pants (and his girls; Miss Hotsy-Totsy Pants (who’s single by the way boys), Mrs. Smarty Pants and Mrs. Bitch (named by Mr. Naughty Pants). I know Mr. Naughty Pants is probably rolling with laughter reading this – for he is the creator of the “Pants” people.
“Smile, laugh, be happy, and fart.” – Mr. Naughty Pants.
