Monday was a busy day - more than usual. I went to work and called Sammy’s doctor to change his appointment time - Keirra (our niece) had an eye doctor appointment in Reno and we couldn’t make both. I then called Scott to tell him I had changed the time - and he said that while taking Sammy to school he vomited in the car! (Yuck!) I called the doctor back and was able to get Sammy in earlier. I had to leave work half way through the day - and missed having lunch with Mr. Naughty Pants and his girls (*pouty face*).

I met Scott and Sammy at the doctor’s office where Sammy was pumped with energy! He was running all over the waiting room and playing with the toys. The doctor said it was probably just drainage from his sinuses (again, Yuck!). Sammy didn’t have a fever or anything bad, so we went home and ate some lunch. Then we went to get Keirra from school and headed up to Reno for her eye appointment. Sammy fell asleep in the car - so I took Keirra in while Scott stayed in the car with sleeping Sammy.

It took like an hour before we finally saw the doctor - and everyone seemed confused by why we even had an appointment. We had been to see the eye doctor just six months ago - and normally when you have a good clean visit it’s years before you have to come back (as a child). I didn’t know (or remember) why they made the appointment - I just went with it. Who am I to second guess the doctor’s requests? So, I was a little annoyed that we were there - waiting for over an hour - and no one seemed to understand why we were there. Then to top it off - the doctor (who was like, “What are you doing here.”) decided to put drops in Keirra’s eyes. That was supposed to take a mere twenty minutes - but ended up taking almost another hour! I went out to the car to tell Scott that we would be another twenty minutes (or so) because of the drops. Sammy was waking up - so I got him out and thought he would enjoy playing with the toys in the waiting room.

I left Scott, Keirra and Sammy in the waiting room and went to the bathroom - when I came out here comes Scott, carrying Sammy, running into the Men’s room. Our poor little fella had vomited in the waiting room… Scott cleaned him up - as best he could - and after came back into the waiting room to tell the ladies who had to clean up his vomit, “Sorry ’bout that.” In the mist of his sorry he started to vomit again! Scott was able to get him to the Men’s room in time. After he came out I took Sammy back to the car and left Scott to stay with Keirra. Sammy seemed okay after that - we were in the car and he was playing.

We left the eye doctor and headed over to see our Baxter (Puppy!). We were bringing him his new crate and fancy new collar with I.D. On our way over to see Baxter, little Sammy vomited again (oh my, Yuck!)! We pulled over and cleaned up - we had run out of a change of clothes, so he had to wear his jacket. This worked out pretty good - it’s waterproof (easy to clean vomit off of - allow me to add yet another - Yuck!). We finally made it over to see Baxter.

He was pretty happy to see us - and what a good boy, he came to me when I called him. He was waiting in the office and I opened the door and called him out into the little entree area - and he came right to us! I showed him his little toys, collar and his crate. I put the collar on him and the other two puppies in the room wanted to eat his collar! So, Baxter was under attack - they were trying to chew off his new bling (Oh no! Not that!). I took it off and put it on top of his crate. I figure that we can put it on him every time we see him - and the owner (Helen) can keep it on him when he’s going to be apart from the pack.

Baxter didn’t like the crate idea too much. I’m just happy I’m not the one training him - because my heart would melt and it would never get done. Helen (the owner) assured me that he’ll be just fine with the crate by the time we pick him up. Helen had also gave Baxter a bath - oh what a soft little fella!

Our little Sammy was not doing well - our visit with Baxter was really short. Scott was holding Sam just about the entire time. He was just not feeling good - so we went home. Stopping to pick up a take-n-bake pizza. Sammy’s temperature spiked when we got home and he vomited again! He had a pretty tough night and ended up sleeping with Scott on my La-Z-Boy in the living room. I have been home for two days now with our poor sick fella. It’s good during the day, but as soon as evening hits - it’s all downhill! Sammy was asking to go see Baxter - in a state of not awake and not asleep with a high temperature… My sweet boy!

I believe in dreams, and that when you dream you are dealing with real life - in an abstract form. I think that everything you dream - no matter how bizarre - has something to do with your life (something that’s on your mind). It took me a while to figure this out, but after putting sense to a dream that haunted me as a child - it all became clear. As a teen I had so much fun taking my friends’ dreams and trying to make sense of them - I was a novelty.

This comes up because the other night I had a dream - and I woke up falling… in love. I dreamt that I flew to Seattle with a friend (Miss. Hotsy-Totsy Pants), for some school related reason. We checked into a hotel and went to the school we were visiting - where we ran into a bunch of folks from the school I work at (so, a bunch of friends). We had a blast touring this school - reasons unknown - goofing around, joking and simply having a nice time. After, I went with my friend (Miss. Hotsy-Totsy Pants) to buy two little dogs for Sammy. We went back to the hotel and then I went out to meet up with Scott (who was already living there in his parents’ mansion!). We went to some shopping/market place where I realized the two dogs I had bought for Sam were missing! They had been stolen! I was very upset - crying and trying to figure out just when and where it had happened. I was back at the hotel telling my friend I would meet her at the airport at 5pm for the flight back home. I had time and I wanted to see Scott again before I left. So, I meet up with Scott and realized I needed to shower before I left. He took me to his parents’ house (mansion) - there was a large pool with like 5 cabanas! Each had a changing room with a bathroom (toilet, sink and shower). I told him that when we got the house we could tear down most of the cabanas (3) and build a guest house out here. Most of the cabanas didn’t work anyway… Then we were looking out at the pool, the awesome view and the cloudy sky - I looked at Scott and simply said, “Yeah, we’re home.”

Analysis: First of all, everyone who knows us knows we are planning to move up to the Seattle area in about 3 and half years. So, that’s where Seattle comes into the dream. Scott and I really miss our future place of residence - we love it there so much! With everyone from my school meeting up at a different school - it’s because next year I am moving up to the high school, leaving all my pants friends and everyone else I enjoy seeing daily, behind. It’s sad, but it’s a move I have to make. I am forever telling them that the entire staff from the middle school needs to change places with the entire staff at the high school - that way we can all still be together next year! No one has gone for the idea - yet. So, in my dream I was taking everyone with me (when I move to the high school or to Seattle - or both). The buying of the dogs comes from adopting our little Baxter and then wanting to take home a second puppy (don’t worry, we’re not). Then I lose them - I think it’s because we haven’t brought Baxter home yet - and also with the tragic accident causing me to be a little paranoid that our Baxter will be in a similar accident. The shopping we did was in a place I vividly remember from our last trip to Seattle. The area I am remembering is where the monorail track runs over the street… why I put a shopping center there - I don’t know. It was near Pike’s Place Public Market… My in-laws live north of Seattle on Camano Island - so that’s where they come into play. Their house is nice, but no mansion. So, that last part may be a simple wish of what I’d love to have when we do move up there - I know the reality of it, and I cannot say I’ll be moving into a mansion. Although, if Scott or I do something and become millionaires - then maybe. For now, only a dream…

It was that line at the end of my dream, “Yeah, we’re home.” That says it all right there - I have always felt this strange sense of a welcoming calmness each and every time I am in Washington State. I have always felt complete when I have visited there and each time I left I have this strong sense of sadness would blanket over me. I was fifteen the first time I flew up to visit my mother’s cousin. It was like as soon as I stepped off the place I had this, “Welcome Home.” feeling. Scott feels the same - I had never met anyone else who loved Seattle (and the west coast of Washington) as much as I do. It was like fate was telling me, “Here you go, you don’t have to fight to be in Seattle - just come.”

I believe in dreams - I also believe in fate. I believe we each have a purpose and a reason here on earth - we just have to listen to the forces around us and follow our hearts.

We got the “okay” to bring Ebony in to meet her new little puppy! Ebony was… well, afraid of him! I thought Ebony was going to be excited and happy to meet this new little guy. It was so cute to watch Baxter chase Ebony around the little room we were in. You would think he was this big mean bully of a dog the way she was reacting! That’s our Ebby, though, she has issues. She is pretty much afraid of everything - now. It wasn’t this way when her buddy Jasper was alive - she was more or less fearless. Her courage passed away when he did, and I really hope that little Baxter can remind her that her courage never left…

Baxter has grown so much! He was attacking all three of us - trying to eat my face! He is a playful puppy - but his energy didn’t last too long, reminding us that he is still a small little puppy…

My Ebby knows she is important to me - hey, if I didn’t love her Baxter wouldn’t be coming to live with us. We love our animals - and it’s crazy when others don’t understand that. I just don’t understand how you could not love these creatures! They are like kids - you don’t want to have more than you can handle - you want to be able to afford to baby the ones you do have. Ebby was enjoying a moment of calmness while Baxter ate dinner. He is a slow eater - but he cleans his plate (Good boy)!
Yes, Ebby, we love you!

Sammy and Baxter are becoming great buds! Baxter was following Sammy all over the place - just like one of his pack. Sammy was more interested in Baxter this time - I think the older Baxter gets, the more real he becomes to Sammy.

This has been such an exciting event for us - going up to visit Baxter and being able to watch him grow. It is a little painful each time when we see him and cannot leave with him. I would rather feel this little bit of pain now then not go visit him at all - I know when the day does come that he leaves with us - he’ll be so much more relaxed than if we just showed up and took him. This way he knows us and trusts us.

Yesterday we were out with some friends. Their daughter and my neice are good pals. It works out because the girl’s parents and Scott and I are great friends as well. So, whenever my niece and their daughter want to play together - Scott and I know we get to have fun too (hanging out with our friends). So, yesterday we went up to Reno and played a little bipolar weather mini-golf. It was sunny and snowing, often at the same time! Scott was having problems (he’s a big guy, 6 foot 6 inches tall!) hitting the ball too hard. I had to keep reminding him, “Mini-golf!” I think he was playing real golf as he hit the ball into the parking lot! It was a lot of fun - and after we went over to TGI Friday’s for dinner - yum! After dinner my friends asked me where we were going - I told them we wanted to hit Krispy Kreme for a doughnut. (We love the fresh hot glazed - Yummy!) Their reaction to doughnuts was that of disgust. I can totally understand why - deep fried in oil… There is nothing a doughnut has to offer - except fat and artery-clogging ingredients. They described the way eating a doughnut made them feel - on their teeth and then inside their bodies… I have reasons for my doughnut love - passion - obsession! I told my frined (Zook) that I could eat myself to death with doughnuts - and die happy. Of course he wasn’t going to understand that - but I do…

When I was a little kid (about six years old) my parents divorced. Before they divorced, my father and I would make special trips to go get a doughnut. He would get a doughnut and cup of coffee and I would just get a doughnut - sometimes we would eat it there at the doughnut shop or on the drive back home. He would often allowed me to drive (put me on his lap), when we got onto our street! It was great times and awesome memories - memories that never faded with time.

Whenever my mother would go get doughnuts - or my grandmother would bring them over - we would all get excited! We would all meet at the dining room table and hover over the box. It was just so much fun - a moment in time when we (my mother, grandmother, brother and myself) were all happy and together. (of course there were other times - but I am talking about doughnuts - therefore bringing up the doughnut memory.) The box would open and there was always one apple fritter - I always wanted that one, but it was known to all that it belonged to my grandmother. That was her favorite doughnut (another sweet memory of my grandma). My mother said that the apple fritters cost too much and she could only afford one - that was okay, we got a doughnut - that’s all that was important *wink*

Later - after I married - Scott would bring me a doughnut every Wednesday. (Wednesday was doughnut day at his work (RCI)) He brought me a doughnut because I was stuck at home from back to back surgeries and staph infections. I was down and out for a long time! The doughnut became the special thing he did to cheer me up - isn’t that sweet?! He knew how much I loved doughnuts - he knew it would make me happy. I did, finally, get better and had to stop eating doughnuts - due to the size my booty (and the rest of my body) was becoming. I had to stop eating anything naughty - for a little while - until I could get my booty back down to normal Vi-Jo size. I have just about made it back - would like to go lower - but I get my doughnut treat every now and then. My favorite Southern California doughnut stops are Yum Yum Donuts and Dunkin Donuts (drool…).

Doughnuts have always linked me to some special time in my life. A time when life was sweet - even for just a moment. Yes, I know how they are made and what they will do to your body. I never overeat the oh-so-powerful doughnut - I never abuse it.

BTW - the term “Have Another Doughnut” was born when I was overweight. All I needed was another doughnut! It was a poke at my weight - not literal, just funny.

Now you know…

Friday is normally our day to drive up to Reno and visit our puppy - Baxter (Puppy!). Yesterday was going to be just like any other Friday - get off work, go meet up with Scott and drive the whole family up to see Baxter (Puppy!). Then the entire staff at my school decided to get together at a local bar and grill to celebrate the end of a long testing week. So, I told my (pants) friends that I would show up for a short time, but then I was going to leave early to go see my puppy.

Mr. Naughty Pants and I went, after school got out, and were the first ones there - a few more people showed up and we all enjoyed a beer and some nachos. Before we knew it everyone was there and the party really started to take off! Of course, I was getting ready to leave as everything began - and when I told everyone I was leaving they all voted for me to stay and party! So, I was bullied into staying and not going up to see our Baxter - we’ll go Monday and Friday of next week. Mrs. Bitch Pants and a few other fun folks were playing pool and asked me to play too - so we tried to team up equally (although I think my teammate got the bad end of the deal when he got stuck with me - I suck at pool). Although I must report that even though my teammate did most of the work - I was the one to sink the 8 ball and win the game!

We drank, ate, and were merry! Mrs. Smarty Pants and I hung out and enjoyed ourselves - drank beer and ate chicken wings and zucchini sticks. Yeah - we had fun. Then everyone started to leave and I thought it was time for me to go too - but as I made my way around to say, “good-bye” I stayed and talked more. Then - as fate had it - Mr. Naughty Pants (who I had arrived with - first ones there) and I were the last ones to leave. It was funny how it worked out that way. Then as Mr. Naughty Pants and I were walking out to our cars together he announced to me that he had been needing to fart for some time and then he let go! Loud and long - yeah, thanks Mr. Naughty Pants!

I had a great time with all the folks I work with - what a fun crowd of people! They are young and wild and know how to party! My Pants friends are the ones to thank for asking me to go in the first place - THANKS!!!!

I love the white stuff - it’s pretty and crisp and fresh and fun… And now it needs to stop! I am totally sick of the weather here in Northern Nevada - I have had it - enough! I cannot handle the bipoler disorder the Northern Nevada Mother Nature has. Someone needs to give her a little blue pill to chill the fuck out! One day it’s spring, the next winter - and one day is was a total winter blizzard outside and within an hour it was spring time out there! Come on! If the weather was more stable it could do anything it wants - snow, rain, be warm (not hot - yuck), as long as it is stable! Here we are in another week from hell - with snow and wind that’s so cold it sings as it hits your flesh. I am sick of the snow! It is debilatating - when it snows (even a little bit) the world has to stop and wait for it to end before slowly making it’s way back out into the great wide open. The snow will start falling and folks will run and hide inside their houses and wait for it to stop. Then once it has stopped they are like cute little meerkats peeking out of their holes to see if the cost is clear from the big bad snow. The mystery that has fallen from the sky making everything cold and slippery. It will rain here every once in a great while - and when it does it’s usually at night and only for a few short hours. The folks here act like it’s acid rain and then complain for weeks (over exaggeration) how gloomy the weather is and how depressed they are because it has rained - in the middle of one night for a few short hours…

Every Friday, for like three weeks now, we slip into a “winter storm warnning” as eveyone awaits this big bad boy storm - that never fucking shows up! Then it’ll snow for a few hours and everyone will freak out! (see a pattern?) I understand no matter where you live - the weather is going to annoy someone. I also understand that in other places the weather is a lot more stable - for more than just a few hours! The only time the weather here is close to being stable in in the summer when we go weeks and weeks - then months and months of boiling hot weather - when day after day it’s close to a hundred with no break! How the hell could that not make you crazy??!! Anyhow - tomorrow it is, now here’s the suprise, supposed to snow! Winter storm warnning… Yeah…

I don’t work with the special education kids - but I am really close and I am able to watch others work with them. Not all of them are mentally retarded, autistic or physically handicapped - some deal with serious emotional issues. I watch a friend of mine (a few friends actually) deal with these kids daily - and I watch as these kids have good days and bad days. On their good days you can see the pride fill the eyes of the aides and teacher as the children tell them they love them and thank them for the help they get. Then there are the bad days… The pain that fills my friends’ eyes when these children are cold and mean to them is just unfair.

I was just talking (last week) how I rationalize reasons the kids I work with act the way they do (sometimes). I have to tell myself that they are just teenagers and that they do not really hate me. There are days when they make coming to work a treat - then other days they are a nightmare to be around. I work with the “normal” children whereas my friends work with kids who could hurl a chair at their face at any second. Again - not totally their fault. My friends have faith in these children and believe in them - where no one else, even family, does. Someone has to - right? I can feel the love when I enter their room - and I can feel the pain. Today my friend was dealing with one of his kids with emotional problems - all day long this kid was yelling at my friend. This isn’t anything out of the norm for this kid - he pretty much goes around and tells (whomever he pleases) off. He’s awfully rude to the front office lady - who is one of the sweetest people ever! But, it’s my friend it hurts the most. He has so much faith in this boy and so much love in his heart for this boy - he would take him home if he could. He gives this boy a person of understanding and trust to come to whenever he needs to talk. He provides a couch for the boy to take a nap on, knowing he didn’t get any sleep at home. He’s the best thing this boy has ever had - and will probably ever have. So, when the boy has nothing but abuse to dish out all over my friend - it’s hard for my friend to take. The boy probably feels safe and figures no matter what he dishes out to this teacher - he won’t leave. Or - he’s thinking that everyone in life has turned their backs on him - he’s just waiting for this teacher to do the same. My friend will never - no matter what - turn his back on this boy.

My friend cares so much about these kids that sometimes he snaps at the aides who help him care for them - inadvertently, I’m sure. The aides (my friends, too) know he’s not really attacking them - but it hurts just the same. It’s almost a violent cycle - the children annoy the teacher - the teacher snaps at his co-workers - everyone is now sad. I hate these days - but I know it’s par for their course. It sucks for them - but these folks have it within them to take it and let it go. They make each day a new day - a fresh start - and harbor no hard feelings. I couldn’t do their jobs and I wouldn’t want to, but that is why they are in the position they are in with these kids who need them.

My friend had a great big heart - enough room for his family, friends and any child who comes his way for help. He’s an awesome guy who needs an acknowledgement. His co-workers (aides) also need a great big “Thanks for everything you do!” by the entire staff. I hope they know they make me proud each and every day - good job guys!

BTW - this guy I’m talking about here is none other than the Mr. Naughty Pants we all love, and his ladies (Mrs. Bitch Pants, Mrs. Smarty Pants and Miss. Hotsy-Totsy Pants). I just hope Mr. Naughty Pants never gets immune to his job and is forever as wonderful as he is now with the kids he works with.

Yesterday was Friday - and I gotta say that Friday started out pretty crappy. I left work feeling a little blue - and then came home and wrote a little sad blog. But then Scott, Sammy, my neice (Keirra), our dog (Ebony) and I hopped into the car and headed for Reno, and there we met with the sweetest thing on four paws - BAXTER!!!

No matter what sadness I was feeling - it was forgotten as soon as I saw his sweet little face. He’s gotten so big! He was running all over the place - he was a mess from playing in his food… he was perfect. Baxter was just what I needed to lift my sprits off the cold dirty floor.

I held him, I played with him and once again he fell asleep in my arms as I rubbed my face across his. Baxter is so damn cute - I just want to take him home! He’s already 5 weeks old (or will be on Sunday) - can you believe it?! Most of his brothers and sisters have also been adopted - but there are still like five that have no homes yet.

I’m sure those sweet faces will attract people really fast! We still have about eight weeks until we can bring little Baxter home - but we’ll keep visiting him each and every week leading up. We are going on vacation for a week - so there will be a week that we won’t see him - but as soon as we get home from vacation we get to go pick him up and bring him home! It’s a rush of pride knowing I am going to be Baxter’s mommy - he’s such an adorable little guy.

The owner of K9 Fitness Center, and the Corgi rescue, hung out with us for a while playing with the puppies. Another couple - who adopted two of the puppies - came in and it turned out to be one big puppy party!

Sam found himself being followed around by the puppies - after all he’s the closest thing to their size. Sam also found himself on the bottom of a few dog piles - silly babies!

What had to have been the warmest part of the visit was watching Baxter follow his new monkey owner (Sammy) around. Baxter was really getting to know Sammy - and Sammy really didn’t want too much to do with the puppy. That’s okay - I’d rather have him relaxed and not get too excited over the puppies. I wouldn’t want him to pick them up and carry them around, and be absoultely annoying with them. Sammy did pet Baxter, tell him that he loved him, and held him in his lap - it was heart-melting! I know that Sam and Baxter are going to be great buds!

As for me and Baxter - yeah, he’s my little buddy. It’s all for Ebony - but we all know that is probably not the complete truth, as it has a lot to do with me too. We might try and get up to see Baxter more than once a week - if the weather permits and if time permits as well.

A little life brings great happiness - as I was quick to forget the hells of the day and bathe in the glow of this puppy’s pure and happy spirit… Yeah, life’s good.

Everyone knows this saying and everyone on the planet Earth feels this way from time to time. I find myself fighting a lot with people who just don’t understand. I have a job no one else in my entire school has - and it’s very hard and very lonely being me. I have the kids on one hand and the adults on the other. I have to carefully juggle them - we don’t want them crashing and hurting one another. What they all tend to forget is that they are all very heavy and I am hurting so much just trying to keep them up and moving. No one sees me for what I do or even who I am. Sure I have friends and we have fun - but I see that as an event outside of work. I feel that when I go hang out with them - I leave my job and go hang out with fun folks. Then I go back to what I do - Interpreter. The job I do is very demeaning as you are supposed to be an invisible robot. I don’t do that well - and if you know me you know that. I am a very social creature who needs to be seen, heard and viewed as a normal human being. There are some days I listen to people talk to me and know they have no idea what I do. They are there every day with me - but they have their own jobs to worry about. Cannot blame them for that. I know for a fact that being an Interpreter is not what I was born to do. I want to stay for a few more years, allowing the boy I Interpret for to graduate high school, and then move on with life. I have come this far with him and now I need to see him finish. He is the sole reason I keep this job. If it weren’t for him I would have told them long ago to kiss my large white ass as I walked out the door…

Anyhow - it’s a lonely world for me at work. I just wish I could get the people I juggle (kids and adults) to see me as a real person and respect me as a real person…